Up At Noon: Metal Gear Statues and Video Game Birds

By Max Scoville

Ugh, I know. I’m sorry. It’s us again. Once again, it’s the weekend, which means an all-new Up At Noon, IGN’s nonsense horse-apples comedy variety show for grown-up children and dogs dressed up in people costumes. You can see the last two episodes here and here.

If you’ve never seen an episode before, give it a shot! Our goal was to create a live-action Saturday morning cartoon. I like to think that we failed, but in the same fortuitous way that the inventors of Champagne, Silly Putty, or Goat Simulator also failed.

This week, we’ve got all sorts of curious activities planned, including:

• Metal Gear Solid Statues – First4Figures sent us three (3) gigantic Solid Snake statues to unbox. They send us that Crash Bandicoot statue we unboxed a couple weeks ago, and I daresay their take on Metal Gear Solid is even more impressive. But that might because I genuinely enjoy Metal Gear Solid as a game, whereas I only like Crash Bandicoot… as a friend.
• Let’s Discuss Video Game Birds – Falcon Age is a PSVR (and PS4) game about birds, specifically falcons. We had creative director Eka in the studio to tell us about it, but we decided to put him to the test: which video game birds are good, and which are bad? Also, which would we eat? And which are Italian? It’s a very stupid interview, but Falcon Age is a neat game. If you don’t believe us, check out Jonathon’s review here.
• The Pink Trombone – What is The Pink Trombone? Well, Harlan Ellison once posed the question, “I Have No Mouth, and I Must Scream.” Actually, that wasn’t a question. But, if it was, The Pink Trombone would be the answer. I encourage everyone reading this to play The Pink Trombone for your classmates, co-workers, family, lover(s), and any innocent bystanders. The world needs more music.
• Let’s Build a Millennium Falcon! – Bluefin sent us Bandai’s 1/144 scale Millennium Falcon snap-together model kit in honor of “Star Wars Day” May The Fourth, but it didn’t get here till yesterday, so I basically did a speedrun of building and detailing it. I think it turned out okay! You can buy one here, and if you want a good starter kit for building models, this’ll do ya. Meanwhile, here’s the matte spray I used, and here are those Tamiya Weathering kits.
• 4 ****** That **** a **** After Avengers: End ******** The *** and ***** – Meanwhile, Brian prepared a spoiler-heavy video about Avengers: Endgame which is NOT in the full episode because we’re not jerks, but which you can find here, and which is very funny because it involves bad clipart.

Max Scoville is co-host and quasi-producer of Up At Noon, you can find him on Twitter and Instagram @MaxScoville, or you can go Tweet pictures of wet cat food to his co-host, Brian Altano, who doesn’t know Max is writing this. Go on, send him a nice moist platter of Fancy Feast. Does anybody read these things? If so, then please send Brian two (2) pictures of wet cat food.