When the digital world is just too boring for the wealthy…
“What?! You still play your games on TVs? Like a baby?” was not a phrase I expected us to get to as a society so quickly. Or, at least, it will be – if the anonymous millionaires out there have their way.
Okay, maybe you’re lacking some important context. ICYMI, there’s an anonymous rich dude who wants to fund a real-life battle royale tournament on a private island. Sure, they say it will only be using airsoft weapons, but I’m betting there’s still at least a 40% chance that this ends with people being hunted for sport, Dangerous Game-style.
Regardless of how the actual tournament turns out, this got us thinking about other games that crazy-rich people (or crazy rich people) could try and replicate in real life…
Mario Kart
Let’s get the most obvious choice out of the way first. There were even companies that did Mario Kart-themed go-karts, but (A) they were basically just go-karts with costumes, and (B) they got super sued by Nintendo for copyright infringement and now do “Superhero” races instead – though you’re basically just wearing mix-and-matched licensed onesies.
via Facebook
But how fun would a custom-built series of kart tracks (based on the best MK circuits, of course) in carts designed to look like their in-game counterparts be? The [?]s could be linked to the carts via RF or Wifi, offering speed boosts or debuffs on other cars, too.
Star Wars: Battlefront
No matter how you feel about EA’s shooter, you can’t deny that you’d have a blast fighting through Star Wars’ most famous battles in what would basically amount to the ultimate game of laser tag.
Give everyone replica blasters and outfits (with built-in sensors) and set them loose in massive recreations of sets from the movies. Be it the wide-open ice plains of Hoth or the dense woods and tight bunker corridors on Endor, it’d be an excellent way to spend a weekend.
Tetris
We’ve all hear (or been) the person who prides themselves on being able to “Tetris” their way through packing up a car for a road trip or an apartment during a move, but what about taking that practical skill to higher (and substantially larger) level.
Our anonymous millionaire friend should have no trouble providing the construction equipment and materials needed to play the world’s biggest game of Tetris – the real cost would come from the insurance, because let’s be honest: it wouldn’t be any fun if all that heavy machinery had to be operated by trained professionals.
Super Smash Bros.
Honestly, I’m surprised this one hasn’t been done yet. Smash Bros is all about Nintendo’s most famous characters beating the hell out of each other until a champion emerges, which is essentially the plot of every reality TV series ever (though those usually focus more on emotional beatdowns).
The IRL equivalent could cast real-world celebrities, from A-listers like Chris Hemsworth or Michael B Jordan down to fan-favorite CW show cast members, in a trial-by-combat themed show set on platforms floating above a giant foam ball pit. For any TV producers out there: patent pending patent pending patent pending.
Joust
Look at this:
You can’t tell me you don’t want to see this happen for real. Even if they couldn’t afford real lava flows, you know watching Ostritch Knights fighting evil Vulture Riders would kick all kinds of ass. The real trick here would be getting the ostriches to accept human riders.
We realize that there are plenty of games that could be produced in a much darker timeline – somewhere there’s a billionaire wanting to hurl endangered birds onto an active construction site – but we wanted to stick to ones that wouldn’t make the world more of a dystopian nightmare than it already is. What are the games you’d like to see become a reality? Let us know in the comments, and for more games made by batshit-insane rich people, stick around on IGN.
Jon Ryan is IGN’s Senior Features Editor, and hopes the next game rich people make real is Universal Health Care. He’ll probably complain about the graphics on Twitter.
