Recently, my wife and I went out to do some Christmas shopping. We also grabbed some lunch while we were out, brought dinner home, rented a movie, and bought a game to play the next day. It should have been a chill weekend, but it wasn’t. In 2023, thanks to greedy billionaires and giant, shitty companies, buying just about anything is a horrible experience.
As human beings reading the internet in 2023, I’m sure you all are well aware of how shitty it is these days to buy…anything. So this post isn’t intended to point out some hidden truth or reveal some new part of the world you weren’t aware of. Instead, I’m just tired and wanted to assure you all that, yes, it’s bad out there, it’s getting worse, and it all sucks. It sucks so much.
Shopping online or at the store is horrible
First, even before we headed out to buy some gifts and other items, I was on Amazon trying to get some other gift-shopping done. I hate Amazon. But more often than not, out here in the Midwest, it’s the only option for some specific items. Still, it sucks. Using Amazon now, in 2023, is like running through a maze of trap doors and fake items. Is that really a PS5 controller in the specific color I want? Or is it one of the many fakes and dropshipped imposters? You have to check the seller and the price and hope that what you order actually arrives and isn’t damaged before it gets to your house. Or stolen off your porch.
Perhaps, like we did, you decide to say “Fuck Amazon!” and go to local stores or brick-and-mortar supercenters to pick up your items. Good luck! I looked online for a particular item and found it in stock at a store in my area. Yet when I got there, the item I’d been told was in stock was…not in stock. When I asked one of the very few overworked staff members at the store about the item, they all seemed far too busy and tired to answer with anything more than “Maybe next week?”
Eventually, we did find some of our items, but our trials and tribulations were not over, as we then discovered, like usual, that most of the checkout lines were closed. The Target we were at had around 20 of them, but only two were open. Two workers were being forced to check out and deal with hundreds of Christmastime shoppers. It was not going well.
So we went to self-checkout, only to discover long lines due to some machines not working. One person was in charge of managing the machines and all the people using them. It was also not going well.
And to be clear: none of this is the fault of the overworked, underpaid workers desperately trying to make a living while being yelled at by Karens for coughing or not smiling enough. Don’t take away from this exasperation that I’m mad at the staff at Taco Bell or Target or anything like that. I’m mad at their bosses and everyone above them who are slowly squeezing us all into a paste that they can scrape off of their boots and throw away once we run out of money.
Anyway, once we got out of the store we made a few more trips. And it was the same story. Stores felt bare, with most items relegated to online shops, while overworked employees who are expected to maintain far too much at once did what they could as holiday shoppers descended on them like ravenous predators.
Buying anything else sucks, too
During all of this, we stopped to grab some lunch at Arby’s. We found, however, that the line at the drive-thru was 20 cars long. So we went somewhere else: a local Taco Bell that is usually not too busy. And it wasn’t, thankfully, but inside I found one person running the place. Not only is this dangerous, it’s a horrible way to manage a fast food joint. We went to order our food, but their systems at that location were down and we didn’t have cash on us. The single worker suggested we use the app to buy the food and pay that way. The future fucking sucks.
When we got home, we tried to watch a movie. But it wasn’t available on any streaming services so we’d have to rent it, even though Roku and other websites said otherwise. So we decided instead to watch a movie I already owned but that we hadn’t watched, only to learn that Vudu was down that night for some reason.
When I went to watch the film on YouTube using my Moviesanywhere account, it had been disconnected for security reasons. So we said fuck it and opened MAX to watch a cooking show we enjoy. But that specific show wasn’t loading for us, even if everything else worked. It’s great paying for apps that never work!
Eventually, we gave up, opened YouTube, and watched some random nonsense. While we did that, my wife tried to buy a game on Xbox, only to be confused by all the various editions and bundles. And when I helped pick the right one, the app crashed and we just went downstairs and used the console to buy it anyway.
It’s wild how horrible it is to buy anything today. We all have less money than ever and corporations have more than ever, and yet, they still demand even more. And now, they don’t even mind how transparently clear it is in 2023 that all they want is that money. They don’t care about their workers, their customers, or the shopping experience at all.
Instead, we are forced to hop through more and more hoops, as prices rise and the simple act of buying something becomes harder and shittier with each passing month.
At this rate, I imagine by around 2025 or so I’ll have to spend $200 on a small fast food order made by one person who maintains a thousand robots making everything in a tri-state area.
I say, fuck that. Let’s outlaw billionaires, take their money, and make this world a better place before we all get crushed by the rich. That sounds much better to me.
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